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I am unsure of my reasons for having a blog, it was an idea instilled in my brain which i had tossed around and eventually formed into somehing that could actually work.. i have needed an outlet for my inner ramblings and can no longer expect those around me to be arsed listening to me anymore. I owe it to that one person for giving me the idea, even if i havent the courage to submit it anywhere just yet, I am still allowing anyone to look at them... a major step.
Reawoken
3 months and i hadn't written a single word, i hadn't felt the need to, my pen just dried up and if I'm honest I didn't mind, i felt no urge to pick up a pen and express my feelings, they hadn't a strong enough hold over me, they weren't bursting out of my chest, pushing through my skin, begging to be formed, understood and vocalised. I didn't look at inanimate objects and consider their role in my life, they had stopped yelling their stories at me, their imagination enticing brilliance had disappeared, silenced through the lack of emotion i was feeling, the salivating pit of absolute blankness i was buried in had made them nervous, unwilling to share their opinions with me.
It was 3 months of silence when she floated into my life, picked me up, shook me and brought my heart and soul to life with her spirit. My emotions began to awaken, my heart and mind began to race and my soul was a burning fire of happiness. My surroundings spoke, their stories becoming the theme tune to my day, and she, the composer. Every part of me dancing and humming to her beat, becoming her, allowing my mind to be forged and sculpted by the sound that emanated around me.
My thoughts began to reform, starting in my mind, liquidising into my blood, flowing down my arm, through my fingers, morphing into ink and sliding easily from my pen. My hand was moving again, the invisible flash of skin as it was gliding across my page, pictures were being repainted, feelings re-spoken and senses re-heightened. Her sound in my ear, and name on my lips brought me to new and more exciting levels, my emotions were no longer containable, impossibly growing inside me, ballooning in me, my being obsessed with the world around me, needing to explore it further, wanting an explanation for everything and persistently opinionating itself on even the smallest of things.
When i think of the feelings I have inside of me, i wonder how it is i survived without them? How did i exist in this world without the burning pain, the back breaking beauty of it all? The laughs, tears, smiles, frowns and moans are the most powerful of all expressions i have ever had, their effect on me coursing through my body and settling in the pit of my chest, waiting to be used at a later stage, waiting for the imminent reaching of the pen in order to bring me to my knees under the strain of their brilliance.
Reawoken
3 months and i hadn't written a single word, i hadn't felt the need to, my pen just dried up and if I'm honest I didn't mind, i felt no urge to pick up a pen and express my feelings, they hadn't a strong enough hold over me, they weren't bursting out of my chest, pushing through my skin, begging to be formed, understood and vocalised. I didn't look at inanimate objects and consider their role in my life, they had stopped yelling their stories at me, their imagination enticing brilliance had disappeared, silenced through the lack of emotion i was feeling, the salivating pit of absolute blankness i was buried in had made them nervous, unwilling to share their opinions with me.
It was 3 months of silence when she floated into my life, picked me up, shook me and brought my heart and soul to life with her spirit. My emotions began to awaken, my heart and mind began to race and my soul was a burning fire of happiness. My surroundings spoke, their stories becoming the theme tune to my day, and she, the composer. Every part of me dancing and humming to her beat, becoming her, allowing my mind to be forged and sculpted by the sound that emanated around me.
My thoughts began to reform, starting in my mind, liquidising into my blood, flowing down my arm, through my fingers, morphing into ink and sliding easily from my pen. My hand was moving again, the invisible flash of skin as it was gliding across my page, pictures were being repainted, feelings re-spoken and senses re-heightened. Her sound in my ear, and name on my lips brought me to new and more exciting levels, my emotions were no longer containable, impossibly growing inside me, ballooning in me, my being obsessed with the world around me, needing to explore it further, wanting an explanation for everything and persistently opinionating itself on even the smallest of things.
When i think of the feelings I have inside of me, i wonder how it is i survived without them? How did i exist in this world without the burning pain, the back breaking beauty of it all? The laughs, tears, smiles, frowns and moans are the most powerful of all expressions i have ever had, their effect on me coursing through my body and settling in the pit of my chest, waiting to be used at a later stage, waiting for the imminent reaching of the pen in order to bring me to my knees under the strain of their brilliance.
KxXx |
Latest page update: made by KxXx
, May 16 2007, 1:43 PM EDT
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Keyword tags:
love
randomness
secrets
thoughts
writing
More Info: links to this page
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| Started By | Thread Subject | Replies | Last Post | ||
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| Anonymous | Wowstruck! | 1 | May 26 2007, 2:40 PM EDT by Anonymous | ||
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Thread started: May 11 2007, 8:05 PM EDT
Watch
You came into my life with youur Osbourne-esque ‘Badass’ attitude clutching your Damien Rice CD &I knew there was more to you than you let on. Cuteness was the 1st of my initial observations followed by an endearing shyness that became more & more apparent.Your quick wit & your swoonsome charm is infectious& as you proudly explained is inherent with your Irish heritage (the correct term is‘Boloxology’).The Jellyknee effect of your voice will always stupefy me & when you say my name I really do forget who I am.It isn’t just these surface observations that draw me hopelessly to you, it’s the depth that you possess that captivates me most..
I’ve never been great with words, they have an annoying habit of escaping me just when I need them. I feel something wonderful &amazing or see something inspiring &astonishing &my words leave me & I’m left with only the pitiful remnants consisting of ooh’s ahh’s&wow’s. You leave me drifting in wonder, suspended in awe. With you I’m constantly searching in the dusty pockets of my mind for something other than just the remnants..Remember how I struggled to voice my reaction to what I have just read here, to your ability to consume&astound me? Remember how I tried to describe how I felt &couldn’t;my frustration turning into raw emotion spilling out of me?See you completely took me off guard, I didn’t for a moment think I could be whisked up into this delicious dream only to wake & find that reality is even better. I catch glimpses of your sensitivity to everything&your awareness of beauty, life &colour. Your words flow through me& ift me& I can’t think of a better feeling in the world. You have an amazing gift of expression, a phenomenal mind & a character of modest humility. I'm proud & touched to be the one you can be yourself with. You’re beautiful. With you I can be me&with me you can be you. (Crazyrandomweirdoswithdisability) C x |
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